you are God's tender mercy...

First off, THANK YOU. I am deeply touched by the out pouring of love that I have received. Thank you for the e-mails, FB comments, and phone calls. Knowing that there is a network of people out there thinking about my family and  sending us prayers or positive thoughts and words of encouragement is truly strengthening. I appreciate the advice and wise counsel that you've shared with me and it has given me a lot to think about. This blog and FB have been such a wonderful vehicle of connecting my life with the lives of people that I have known since I was a child but rarely see as well as keeping my current circle of friends in touch with one another's daily events. I love reading through people's blogs to see what is making their lives tick as well as sharing a bit of my life with those who want to bear witness to it. So thank you for being a part of this with me by reading my blog and sharing your thoughts and input as well offering glimpses into your lives through your blogs.  

When my laptop was stolen it had almost two years worth of journaling saved on it. Since I got my new laptop last week, I have been sorting through e-mails, blog posts, snippets of feelings and thoughts I wrote and saved on my husbands computer, and our home computer all in the attempt to recreate what was lost. I am so grateful that I have this blog. It has photos and antidotes about the daily perils of motherhood and I have shared where my head and heart where along the way. The thing is, while going through the posts for journal recreation, I noticed that the last time I posted something about the family was almost two months ago. I also noticed that for every two post that are published, there is a post saved as a draft. I usually write something then think that it isn't really in line with the spirit of the blog or it is too personal and keep it to myself. So I am thinking about making two blogs. Keeping this as a place to document all the little adventures and moments of daily family life to be bound together at the end of the year (like a photo album with commentary) and doing another one that is more about how I am processing the world. Should I just keep everything together and censored for a family blog format or should I separate the Bartlett Family Blog from a blog that is more my rambling observations, attempts at learning life lessons, and just documenting my internal journey? Can the two go together, or are they too conflicting in purpose? 

The really intimate feelings I have just can't be expressed properly in type. Those things go in my journal. There is something about the smell of the leather cover and the scratching of pen across thick parchment paper that adds weight to the words being written. Those words are personal and not open for public review. But I can sense a lot future blog posts that are written as I try to process what is going on around me and inside of me and sharing it makes me feel less alone as I go through it. I also get so much from the feed back I receive. I love it when someone says something that makes me go, hmmm, I hadn't though of it from that perspective before. Everything is really crazy in my life right now (on so many fronts) and that is reflected in how jumbled my thoughts and emotions are. Writing helps me sort it all out and really look at it so that I can figure out how to grow from it. And, maybe by sharing it with others, it will help them grow in some way too. I just don't want to overwhelm these blog followers with too many posts that are just -thoughts by Shama if they are just interested in reading a light hearted family blog.  Just something I'm thinking about. 

Who does THIS at 35???

So Jon and I have a little announcement....

Jon is joining the ARMY

  He is ready to be all he can be

I am completely serious. He leaves in about 4 weeks for officer training camp in San Antonio Texas and will be gone for almost 11 weeks. He is signing on for a three year commitment and will be stationed at Madigan on Fort Lewis base about and hour from our house. We have been researching this option for about two years now for a couple of reasons. 1-getting his Doctorates degree was really expensive and we have about $82K in student loan debt all of which the military will pay off during the three years he's in 2-Jon has wanted to be trained in clinical pharmacy for a while now but he would have to go back to school and do a residency and that just isn't an option for our family and 3-who isn't curious what Jon will look like with a military hair cut?

The recruiter has tried to get him to take different posts all over the United States but in the end we said that we didn't want to move (let me be honest, I didn't want to move) and that we would only join if they could make that happen. It didn't look like there was even the remotest possibility until two weeks ago when they called and said that the one post in the world we would be willing to accept had an opening. 

So I am entering the land of the military wives. In over 12 years Jon and I haven't spent more than 4 days a part not to mention that he is an amazing involved father, so this is going to be tuff all around. I am still kind of adjusting. We are scrambling to put in a new security system, finishing putting up trim and base boards, clean out the garage, get the yard pruned, fertilized, and ready for summer, as well as shoring ourselves up emotionally to be separated. I have seen my friends do it. I have always admired their strength and their positive attitudes even when they spend months as a single parent. I guess I will learn if I am made of such stern stuff. 

I could use some input on how and when to tell our 7 and 4 year old that daddy is going to be gone for a while as well as some coping strategies that you mom's who've been through it have used. As a parent I am open for input on how to keep this separation from being traumatic for the kids. Personally I need to know how you keep yourselves together when everything feels totally overwhelming. There has been a lot of upheaval and trauma in my personal life recently so this comes at at time when my emotional tank is running on low. Jon is my healing balm. Jon is my snuggle at the end of the day that reassures me that no matter what else is going on in our lives, in that moment, in that space, everything is just right. Where am I going to find peace like that when I don't have his arms to curl up in? 

L*O*V*E

For me there are two ways of loving others. The first is the general sort of, loving my fellow man, kind of love. You know, do no harm, lift up whenever you have the opportunity, seek to see the good in people, the golden rule type of love. There have been times in my life when I have been too self absorbed, too insecure, or too selfish to take the time to love those around me in this way. I have always been ashamed of those times; when I put someone down instead of building them up, when I have not gone out of my way even though I knew that the smallest effort on my part would mean so much to another. In those times I prayerfully ask forgiveness and try to live my life in harmony with the directive, “love one another as I have loved you”. This kind of love is the general mission statement for how I want to live my life. While not always easy, it doesn’t take an emotional toll.


The other kind of love, well that is much more personal and comes with a huge emotional price tag: unconditional love. To love without condition…that’s tough. That means that I am called to love even when the love isn’t returned. [That kinds of sucks] I am called to love even when the other person doesn’t do anything to deserve it. [Seems sort of unfair, don’t you think?] I am called to love even when the other person doesn’t want to be loved by me. [Why take the time?] I am called to love even when the other person is careless with my heart. [Couldn’t pick only those who can appreciate me…even a little??]I am called to love even during the times that I don’t like the other person. [Where’s the fun in that?] I am called to love even though it makes me feel exposed and vulnerable. [There is no joy in being crushed by someone] I am called to love because it isn’t my love that I’m sharing, it is God’s. It is not of my creation. The power of loving someone no matter the cost, no matter the outcome, is divine. That is the lesson I learned today.

A new understanding..

I was watching a show this week and one of the characters said, "Do you know what happens to a star when it burns out? It doesn't just stop shining, it turns into a black hole".  It put into words something that I have struggled with for years. When I was a child there were a few things that I knew for sure. My parents loved me and I felt safe and secure in my world because of that knowledge. I knew them. I knew what their very souls felt like. I knew what they stood for, what they believed in, and what values they built our family upon. They were these bright shiny stars who lit and guided our lives. As I grew up I began to see them more as three dimensional beings, flawed but trying, and I was okay with that because I still recognized their light. But when I was a teenager, I was shattered. There were choices made that shocked me. There were deeds brought to light that had no place in the universe they created for me. Nothing made sense. Suddenly there was no order, no safety, no constants in this world for me. One parent tried to keep themselves in the orbit of values that had guided them through this life and tried to focus on an eternal trajectory but the other, well the other didn't. I watched and mourned as that parent's light got dimmer and dimmer until it not only went out, but turned into an enveloping darkness that made their very essence unrecognizable to me. They became a black hole. It haunted me. I pictured this beautiful, bright, pure soul, trapped and screaming for release from the blackness, but staying imprisoned until his mortal life ended.

In my adult life, I have witnessed from afar and walked closely with friends who's lives too have been shattered because someone they loved traded their light for darkness. Sometimes I have rejoiced becuase the loved on faught against the darkness and found their light again, but in other cases, the darkness won.  In every instance though, I ask myself the same question, WHY? Most of the time the obvious answer is sin. They lost their moral compass and enveloped themselves in the darkness of sin and didn't know how to shake it off.  I went to bed last night ruminating on how sin can not only destroy the light of the person committing it, but destroy everyone around them, like a black hole. And then I had a dream.
I dreamt that I was a little girl riding in the back seat of a car with my parents in the front. Everything was warm and light and I felt so safe in the knowledge that my parents would guide me home. Then I started dreaming about another little girl, one who's world is currently being torn apart. In my dream, we were in a field and she was crying that she didn't understand why her family wasn't a family anymore, and just sobbing that she wanted everything to go back to the way it was.  I was holding her and explaining to her that one of her parents just forgot who they were. And she kept saying, "how could he forget, how could he forget"?? In my dream we were both children and in our innocence neither of us could understand how grown ups could forget a truth that is so simple and so complete: we are children of God and he loves us. We didn't understand how the adults in our lives could forget the feeling of being enveloped by His love, it would be like forgetting what it's like to have gravity hold you to the ground. We were both heart broken, not at the parent's actions, but by the loss of understanding. How could they forget their greatness? Their divinity? It was baffling that they didn't know the truth any longer and devastating that the loss of that knowledge would have eternal repercussions.
When I woke up, I was shaken with a new understanding. I always thought that sin created the blackness that tore apart my family, and so many other families, but it is just a symptom. The blackness comes from forgetting who you are. I have been pondering this all morning and I realized that anything that dims your light- anger, depression, hopelessness, fear, insecurity, uncertainty, feelings of worthlessness-all come from the same place, from that same lack of knowledge. We are loved. We are cherished. We are never forgotten, never abandoned. God placed within us His own divinity. Each of us radiate with our own unique gifts and talents. We can lift one another up. We can create life and love unconditionally. We have the strength within us to forgive, to have compassion, to provide hope for another. We have purpose. We have the capacity to learn and to grow and to become the best possible versions of ourselves.
We were created to shine.
Lord, please help me to hold the darkness at bay so that I can be the light that guides my family home. Please help me remember who I am at times when I feel weak and small. Please help me see the light in others and help them see it in themselves. Please help me be more than I am.
Pleae help me shine.

At what cost?

On Wednesday I was feeling like this:


And I wrote this in my journal:
The fl yer campaign is in full swing. I have several friends and neighbors ready to begin plastering every street post, every sign, and every community bulletin board with my "Wanted-The Name of a Ridgetop Thief" posters. I really don't know if it will net me a name but I don't think that is the point anymore. I just want to stand up and says, "NOT OK". I want to stand up and and say, "WE WONT TAKE IT ANYMORE". I want to stand up and say, "MY COMMUNITY IS MY SECURITY SYSTEM". And I think that there are a lot of people who need it too. I have gotten e-mails from other home owners in the area, good families that were victimized in one way or another, who also want to stand up but haven't known how. One guy had his car broken into and they took his wedding album. Who takes a wedding album?
If the only thing that comes from this is that we all feel a little more bonded as a community and empowered in our personal lives then it will be worth it. If the only thing that comes from this is to have it noted that we stood up, then it will be worth it.

And then the phone rang, and I felt this....

And I wrote this in my journal...

It isn't worth it.

I got an automated recording from Caden's school that he was absent. I walked him to the steps of the school and watched him climb them but didn't watch him go inside or even enter his class room. It was drizzling and I had the baby in my arms in jammies so I rushed off to get the girls home and Ella to preschool. I just kept thinking, what if something happened to him because of something I did? What if I made my family a target. What if FOMT was trying to send me a message? What if he was more evil then petty thug? The torment of those five minutes are not worth any thing. In the end they found him in the class room's reading nook. It was library day and he wanted a few more minuets with the book he had to return so when he saw that he had a substitute he hid himself away under a bean bag chair.

What am I doing? I keep thinking that I am trying to find the lesson, the silver lining, the growth from this experience, and if it isn't to find strength then I'm coming up blank. This can't just all be for nothing, can it? Jon doesn't get what a big deal this is to me, not really. I am suffering all the obvious pains of losing my business base, my family photos, my art, but there it is so much more. I grew up in a home that was never locked. We lived in Tacoma, yet still felt safe enough to have an open door policy. I wanted that for my family. I just always assumed that it was a given that we would raise our kids in an environment of security, an environment where locks and alarms are for other homes. On any given day of the week I come home to find an empty car in the driveway and a friend or family member in the kitchen. I love that my people feel connected and comfortable in my home. I love that they enjoy being here. I love that they feel safe here. I love that they feel accepted and welcomed here. Our home has been home to all just like the home that I grew up in. That is changed now. Our doors are now locked and the front window will soon boast an ADT sign. That is the home I live in now. That is the home that my kids will be raised in. One where everyone is locked out and the inhabitants only feel safe when locked in.

So I cancelled our catch a thief poster party, gathered my children to me, and silently apologized for not being strong enough to create the world I wanted for them.

That girl's got moxie...or she's crazy.

On Tuesday Morning I was feeling this...Because late on Monday night I posted this on Craigslist (http://seattle.craigslist.org/kit/wan/1700734850.html)
I WANT THE NAME OF A THIEF
My house was burglarized on Sunday April 18th between 10:30am and 12:30pm. The home is located off of Ridgetop BLVD next to Emerald Heights Elementary School. The main items taken were a Nikon D700 camera and a 17" Mac Book Pro lap top with the #5 key missing and slight dings on the out side. I am willing to pay $500 CASH to the FIRST person who comes forward with the name of the person who robbed me and $1000 CASH if you can get the lap top returned to me with the files in tact (all our family photos from the last year are on that laptop). No questions asked. Only good information will be compensated so don't waste my time or yours of you don't really have anything. You have a rare window of opportunity to make some fast cash. All identities will be kept anonymous.

And I wrote this in my journal Tuesday morning....

I am so tired. I hardly slept last night. I just feel so defeated and deflated and desperate and probably some other adjectives that start with "D" but I am too tired to come up with them. I am also a little scared. I may have done something stupid. I threatened the guys who robbed me and the guy trying to extort $1000 from me. I was so sure that I was going to get my laptop back, that I could just will it to happen, put forth my best effort, and it would work out. Its not going to happen. All day I was tense with this hum of impending action. That feeling you get right before you go on stage, or before you jump off the high dive. Scared, determined, and a little thrilled. I wanted to be the one who met up with FOMT. I wanted to look him in the face. I wanted the look in my eye to say to him, "I am not afraid of you. You have no power over me". I wanted to sit across from him and force confidence into my voice as I demanded to see my laptop. I wanted to will my hands to be steady as I checked my files and paid the fee. I wanted to walk away with out looking back even though I know that my legs would be shaking to the point of tripping and my body would be vibrating with nerves. I pictured myself trembling on the inside but feeling so proud of the way I didn't allow my actions to betray that on the outside. I wanted this show down. I needed this show down. Powerful women engage in show downs like this and its the only way that I can think of to keep from feeling so small in the world, so volnerable. I see myself fueling the need for action because I'm afraid that when I stop I will have to feel all of this. Really feel it. I'm just not ready for that now. I would rather feel threatened and a little terrified. Is that crazy?

In my need for action I called FOMT one last time....

FOMT: "Who da hell do you think you are? You wanna threaten me. 'Oh you got 90 mins you got 88 mins'. Lady you like a big ol' blond cartoon is what you are. You thinking you gonna do something. You watch one to many crime shows, thinking you a detective, like you got something.You gonna threaten me? You go head, turn my phone number in the police. This a prepaid cell lady, registered in Chicago and I down here in Portland. You gonna do what?

ME: "Placing the add made sense to me at the time and you weren't really giving me any options. You said you'd call back and you never did."

FOMT: "Who you think you are? You just a big ol' cartoon what you are. A big ol' blond cartoon. When a man don't call you back, he don't wanna talk to you."

ME: "Why don't you want to talk to me? I'm not trying to deceive you. Look, I just want my laptop back and I'm assuming that you still want money. Why are you making this so difficult and complicated"

FOMT: "Lady you da one that f***ed this up. What world you think you live in? There be fools getting shot every day and you go around threatening people. You think you something. You don't know you just a big o'l cartoon. I went to bed laughing at you last night, 'oh you got 90 minutes' and I gonna be laughing you today, 'I want my laptop back, I want my laptop back'. you ain't never getting this laptop back. I scrubbed it. It done. It gone."

ME: "Okay, maybe I am a big blond cartoon, but I didn't know what else to do. I'm sorry that I'm not well versed in how to deal with criminals..."

****NOTE-FOMT is very rude. He talked over me all the time and the paragraphs I write are just peices of the conversation because he rarely stopped talking.
FOMT: "Oh, 'I am not well versed'! Who talk like you? Lady you not for real. People like you don't exists. You belong on the TV. Big ol' cartoon talking like 'not well versed' on TV".

ME: "If you called to just mock me and don't have the laptop then we don't need to talk anymore. But if you do have it and haven't scrubbed, it then I am still willing to work with you".

FOMT: "Lady, what world you live in?! I live in the real world. You live in a bubble. You think you some detective. You 'willin to work with me'? Yeah I gonna be laughing about you for a long time. You living in your little bubble world like a big ol' blond cartoon"

ME (talking over him because he would NOT stop expounding on how he knows the real world and I live in the bubble world-I know he didn't hear what I said, but I just wanted to have said it...): "I live in a world where I am adored by my husband and love my kids. I live in a world where I have great family, and friends, and a great community around me. You live in a world of pre paid cell phones, scrounging for a buck, and being afraid of the police. Will you still be laughing the next time you are pick pocketing a guy hoping to score $20? I'm offering you $1000. How many guys are you going to have to pick pocket to get that? That's your world."

FOMT: "I wouldn't give your laptop back for $1500, for $2000! You justa crazy ol' white women living in her bubble world. You don't know nothing. You don't have nothing. You gonna get nothing. I got your laptop and I gonna be laughing about it".

ME: "You are an idiot. I was serious about paying you and letting you walk away. Congrats on your new dented and used laptop with out the power cord. Enjoy shelling out $70 to replace it."

FOMT: "Lady, you not real. You crazy. You think you something when you justa cartoon to me. I have to go, my wife is calling me on the other line. I call you back."

ME: "I don't believe you. You didn't call back yesterday. I'll just hold".

FOMT: "WHO YOU THINK YOU ARE"?

Let me introduce myself; Crazy ol' White Women at your service. You may also know me as, Big ol' Blond Cartoon. Or perhaps you recognize me as that Lady who lives in a big bubble?

After the conversation ended I was ticked. I knew that negotiations were done. I knew that he had nothing to offer me. How does he not realize that if I was using all that time and energy and financial resources to get my property back that I would apply all the same components to get him? I know is sounds ridiculous, but I was offended that he scrubbed the laptop after I told him what it meant to me. Wait, I am just a cray ol' white women, so it makes sense that I would think a criminal would think more logically then to cut off his nose to spite his face.
I was feeling this:
So I posted this on FB:
I am having a "catch a thief" poster party starting tomorrow. I am going to make tons of brightly colored posters offering a hefty reward for the name of the person who robbed me and an even heftier reward for the return of my laptop with the files in tact. I want to plaster them all over the ridgetop area and could use some help over the next couple of days putting them up. Any volunteers??
Then I sent two texts to FOMT the first one said this:
"Thought you might like to pass this along to the person who robbed me and if that's you, then know that I will go broke to find you. My community will stand behind me. Thieves are not welcomed in our world so run back to what ever little whole you crawled out of and wonder how loyal your friends are when the price for your name gets high enough"
and the second was just the copy of the FB post.
I have to say that for several hours, I felt really good about what I was doing. I even started designing the signs and composing my next craigslist add. It felt good to know that I was going to DO something and not just sit back and let an injustice go unnoticed. You see I still believe that we have a lot of personal power to effect change in not only our own lives but in the world we create around us. There are so many more good people in the world. We just have to rise up together showing the bad that we won't be afraid. That they can't feed on us, one victim at at time. Yeah for a couple of really empowering hours I felt really good, and then the phone rang....

Feast or famine?

On Monday night I was feeling this...And wrote this in my journal....
I am so frustrated! Every time my phone rings with a number that I don't recognize, I jump. I have waited all day for the friend of my thief, FOMT, to call back and he hasn't called. The last time we spoke he seemed spooked by the possibility of exposing himself but also hungry for the money. So I guess the question is, which of his natural instincts will direct his behavior, the primal fear of being caught or the hunger for the prize? Okay, Shama, so think for a minute. He is an animal just like the rest of us, so what would an animal do? If a mouse spends his days scrounging around for bits of stale bread would he run out in the open to nab a big piece of cheese knowing that a hawk may be circling high above? Fear or hunger? Jon said that he would stay in his hole, and i guess that is what FOMT has decided to do. Just like the mouse he darts forward a few feet towards the prize by calling me, but the fear of being crushed by the talons of justice keep him scampering down his little hole again. I have been dangling a big piece of cheese but if it is fear that is motivating his actions then I need to play into that instead of focusing on his hunger. How do I make him afraid enough to contact me? What leverage do I have?
Maybe if I make him feel that the risk to him is minimal he will come out?

So I posted this on Craigslist: (http://seattle.craigslist.org/kit/wan/1698992813.html )
Your contact called me today. I am not interested in ambushing you or trapping you, I just want my stolen property back. I have a proposition for you. If you do indeed have the laptop and the files are intact then I want to do business with you. Think about this, you have stolen property. If you try to keep the laptop and use it as your own the IP address can be traced back to you. If you try to sell it you have to reveal yourself as a thief and hope that you don't get caught, and you would be lucky to make even $100 bucks. I am promising $1000 for the laptop. This is the only scenario that you come out even remotely ahead.
Okay so here is what I propose. You have a third party meet me at a public place, like a Starbucks or something. You can text or e-mail the location right before we meet so that you have some measure of comfort that I don't have time to set you up (and really do you think that the police have the time or the resources to launch a sting operation for a petty criminal-I don't think so). I will verify that the contents of the computer are intact and give your contact the money. I can only give you my word that I will not call the police, I will not follow you, I will not attempt to trace you in any way. I will not try to trick or deceive you. You know where I live. You know what my children look like. I would not risk their safety or my own over $1000. If you have someone bring the laptop, I will bring the money. I will not meet you if I feel the situation is unsafe or if you cannot provide me with the serial number of the laptop ahead of time so that I know that you actually have it. If you don't want any face to face interaction you can leave the laptop at a public location and I will check it out and then leave the money. Like I said, the threat of retaliation will keep me from trying to deceive or trick you in any way.
I am not some vigilante trying to bring you to justice. I am a mom trying to get back her family photos. The whole last year of our lives are on that computer, every birthday, every special event, every milestone was documented and stored on that laptop. I want them back so badly that I am even willing to do business with some stupid thug who has nothing better to do then rob good people while they attend church on sunny Sunday afternoons.
Like I said, this is your only option for any monetary gain. If you are uncomfortable with the scenario I came up with then you come up with something and as long as I feel my safety isn't in question, I will consider it.
Let’s do business.
By the way, I am not an idiot. So if you are just trying to scam me out of $1000 and have nothing to do with my stolen lap top, leave me alone. Don't waste your time or mine with games. But if you do have my laptop, then you have something I want, I have something you want. Let’s find a way to make a trade happen.

And then the phone rang (after I called and texted...a lot)....
FMOT: "Lady, why you keep calling me?"

ME: "Because I want to say something to you..."

FMOT: "I's seen what you you's has ta' say {I think that he is referring to the numerous texts I have sent} and i know you got the cops in it. I ain't stupid. You little ol' white women and you's say you gonna meet up with me? You think I'm real stupid"

ME: "Do you really think I would endanger my family for $1000? You know where we live. You know children's faces, their names. I wouldn't do that. I just want the laptop back. Why can't you see that I am just trying to get back our photos. I am not trying to trick you, I swear!"

FMOT: "Lady, it ain't gonna happen".

And then I wrote this in my journal...
Negociations have fallen a part. He won't do business with me. I texted a few minutes ago telling him that I am losing my patience. I don't think he cares. I KNOW that but I still wanted to say it. I told him that when he is scrounging to pick pocket some guy for $20 he will regret this. I am crossing over from trying to work with him to wanted to get him. I really was going to let him walk away from our meeting. I am on a mission to get that laptop back. If that isn't going to happen then my mission is changing to one of wanting to get a sense of justice back in my world.

So I posted this on Criagslist trying to appeal the thief who robbed me and to FOMT. Now before you judge please remember that I had not slept the night before and was VERY tired and just worn out and what followed really made sense to me at the time. (http://seattle.craigslist.org/kit/wan/1700628371.html )
I am giving you 90 mins. By 10pm I want to hear from you or your contact person letting me know that we are going to make a trade some how. If I don't hear from you, the reward changes from $1000 for the return of the laptop to $1000 for your name. I will also hand over your "friend's" phone number to the police and let them know that you two are trying to extort me. This could all go south for you very quickly. I will plaster the neighborhood with reward signs offering cash for anyone willing to turn you in. Again, all I want is the return of my laptop. I am willing to pay you. If you are not willing to work with me then I am actively working against you. I am still willing to let it all go for the return of my property but only for about 88 mins longer. I am not joking. I refuse to let go of the images of my newborn daughter contained on that computer. I refuse to let go of the trip to Disney Land my family took last year. If you force my hand you will regret it. CONTACT ME. The offer is still $1000 for my laptop with all image files in tact. Let me know if we are doing business so I know if I am calling the sheriff tonight and stopping by kinkos for mass printing or if I have the return of my laptop to look forward to.

It did not go over very well. The next morning the phone rang....