Daddy at a Glance....

*Laughs the loudest at his own jokes.
*Is the most playful dad I've ever seen...will play legos, will jump on trampoline, will finger paint, will wrestle and sword fight, and will do most anything that makes his kids smile.
*Says things like, "shazzbot!" and "Dog gone it!" and "Freakin!" in place of swear words.
*Looks forward to watching all the animated new releases almost as much (and often more than) our children.
*Kept a special note I wrote him in his wallet for over a year until it crumbled to tatters of paper.
*Is absolutely addicted to Diet Mt. Dew
*Has an aspiring gourmet chef as a wife but would choose KFC or Pizza Hut to grace his table most nights.
*Reads the kids bedtime stories every night until they are nice and drowsy and then grabs them in a bear hug and rolls around the bed while he chants, "I am the squishinator!"
*Is my best friend and favorite person in the world.

Mama at a glance....

* I start my day off with a cold caffeinated soda and am perpetually dehydrated.
* I administer Children's Tylenol willy nilly to crying children.
* I rarely arrive anywhere on time.
* I sing constantly although I don't know all the words to any song.
* I love sleeping in the car. Car ride of 30 mins or more and I leave the house with my pillow under my arm. It is bliss to doze off in the car while a stream of sunshine warms my face...man do I wish I was in a car right now.
*At 33, I am just starting to feel comfortable in my own skin. I'm not any thinner, not any more stylish, my hair style hasn't changed much in the last decade, and on a fancy day I spend more than 10 minutes applying my make up, but some how I feel more confident looking in the mirror with each passing year.
*I watch trashy TV on Hulu while I unload the dishwasher.
*I am currently reaching for more Tylenol as the dishwasher needs unloading and my fussy little one doesn't seem to want to take a nap.
*I love love love being a mom to my kids and I love love love leaving them for short bursts of time.
*Just spent two days of alone time with my hubby and realized mid morning that I missed him although we've only been apart a couple of hours.

Camping is supposed to be fun, right?

I always thought that I was a smart consumer, and I really have been. It is a rare occasion that I buy clothes or shoes at full price, I stock up on the coupon items at Costco, and I love trolling Goodwill on 50% off day. I look for sales and read customer reviews before buying big ticket items and I know exactly where the clearance end caps are at all my favorite retailers. I have always been thrifty but I am realizing what a BIG consumer I have been. When I find something on clearance that I know will be useful in the future I stock up. For example, Target clearanced a bunch of shoes months ago and I bought the kids two pairs each even though they were several sizes too big. Who can pass up tennis shoes for $3.24? And when Chicken nuggets were $4 off at Costco I bought 5 bags reasoning out that although I was spending over $40 in the moment, I was saving $20 in the long run.  On top of that, there are areas where I don't worry about being too thrifty and just indulge. I love shopping for the perfect baby shower, wedding shower, or birthday gift and when I find something that fits the bill, I can always find a way to justify the cost.

 Jon and I really enjoy taking the kids on outings and day trips as well as a couple of vacations a year. We usually don't write up a very strict budget for these little breaks from the daily grind, but I try to keep things in balance by maybe splurging on an extra night at Great Wolf Lodge but bringing a cooler of food instead of eating out. Jon and I also like to go away together several times a year as well as go on dates several times a month. It seems reasonable because we aren't flying off to a five star resort in Hawaii, we wait until we find a great hotel/airfare combo in Vegas and instead of gambling we take in a show and as many buffets as possible. And our date nights aren't spent in fancy restaurants or going to expensive concerts, they are usually dinner at Azteca and a movie, or even just getting Cold Stone and then perusing the travel section at Barnes and Noble. Granted, we have to pay a baby sitter and the final tally on the evening is always around $50 but can you really put a price on strengthening a marriage?

It wasn't always comfortable. We worked really hard for the first 5 years of our marriage to get to where we're at. We ate a lot of top roman, spent all school holidays scrounging for overtime,  made gifts for one another, rationed out gas so that we could splurge on Subway Sandwiches for a picnic date, and our big vacations always included finding the cheapest hotel along the Washington Coast. When we graduated and started making a professional income it was really fun to live a grown up life style.  So that is what we've done for the last 7 years, not lived extravagantly or lavishly, just comfortably.

Oh, how I miss you fiscal years 2003-2010. We are now living on a military paycheck and boy oh boy, is it a financial adjustment. Let me just note that I totally supported and still do support Jon's decision to leave the rat race of retail pharmacy management. It was lucrative but soul crushing for him. The military is paying off our all our $88K in student loans and he is loving the versatility of being a medical services officer in the military. It was a prayerful decision and I know that it was the right one for our family.

With that being said, I did the budget last night and my little bubble of comfort is no more. Instead of feeling like I'm hanging out in my favorite pair of yoga pants I am now feeling like I am wearing a bone girdle under an unforgiving holiday dress. Try taking a deep breath in a dress like that! Nope, definitely not comfortable.
I am going to need to be so much more than a smart consumer to make this work. I am entering the waters of needing to be down right frugal. So I have been thinking of ways to reduce, simplify, and consume so much less. IT IS AN ADJUSTMENT! But the funny thing is, I am kind of looking forward to the challenge. Its like going camping. You work hard to have a home where there is heat and light, a stove in your kitchen, and a working toilet in your hall but every so often you long to just get back to basics. You head off into the woods and construct yourself a shelter from the elements,  bring heat and light to your space with fire, cook your food over the flames you created, and dig yourself a latrine. And somehow there is great pride in doing it because the thing is done by the sweat of your brow and your own cunning. That is how I feel about this new financial age, like I'm going on a financial camping trip.

Already, I'm re-evaluating what things in my life are more luxuries than necessity. Paper towels for example. Really what do I need paper towels for? We can wipe our fingers on those square napkins that come like 500 to a package and I can clean my windows and mirrors with old newspaper. Done, just shaved $10.50 off the monthly budget. Next, laundry detergent. It is $13.99 for the kind we buy, but my cousin told me that she makes her own laundry soap and it comes out to like $1.50 for 100 loads and works great! But wait there's more! I am clipping coupons -saved $115 last shopping trip with discounts and coupons-, watching youtube videos on how to groom your own dog-BAM! just saved us the $42 I have been putting out in dog grooming every 6 weeks-and then there's toting all the kids old clothes to the consignment shop instead of Goodwill,  selling their old toys on Craigslist (if your interested, I am getting ready to put up a HUGE lot of ZuZu pet stuff soon, mostly because they annoy the crap out of me-why in the world would a hamster moo and who was the genius  who decided they wouldn't have an off switch-and because the kids just don't play with them anymore), making my family homemade Valentine's sweets instead of buying them gifts,  finding all the free family fun things to do and coming up with my some of my own, and I'm trolling through blogs on how people find ways to be thrifty and frugal in their lives (if you have any leads let me know).
So I have about 18 months of getting back to basics before things become comfortable again and although I am a little daunted by the task, I think that it will be really good for me and for my family. Already I feel such empowerment every time I can say, "I really don't need that" and walk away not even really wanting it. It is amazing how much mindless shopping I did and how much of what I bought wasn't needed or even wanted until I saw it on a clearance end cap. I am going to have to change my thinking and my habits and I'm sure there will be an adjustment period with some painful moments when I just want the "camping trip" to end so I can get back to the luxuries of life before, but I am also sure that there will be a lot of growth and that if I'm mindful, this period in our lives can have a lasting impact on all 5 of us.

Work smarter not harder...

If any of you have a flat top stove you know the torture it is to clean it. I have invested in all the special cleanser, the scratching pads, tried baking soda paste, and in the end I just have to scrub and scrub and it never really comes out looking sparkling fresh...until today. Last night a large quantity of starchy water boiled over while making mashed potatoes. I used the special flat top cleaner with the little scrubbing pad and still it looked like this. Annoyed I trolled the internet looking for options and found one lady who suggested using oven cleaner.  

Following her tips,  I sprayed the oven cleaner all over the surface of the stove turned the burners all to low for about 5 minutes and then waited for the cook top to cool. 

All I had to do was wipe the flat top clean. I did a little scrubbing with the scratching end of my sponge but all in all it was very little effort. Voila! The flat top stove I remembered. 

The Play Kitchen

I wanted to get a play kitchen for my girls (almost 5 and 18 months) for Christmas but nothing I saw felt right. I wanted something that could be enjoyed by both of them for years to come but all the plastic kitchens were too small and seemed like they wouldn't stand up to much play abuse. I started looking up patterns for making your own play kitchen and came across the idea to refurbish an old entertainment unit. My favorite was at www.suttongrace.blogspot.com. So I started trolling good will and craigslist for the perfect entertainment unit and after a month of searching found this one for $40. It is really solid and the perfect size. There were doors on the front bottom but I in my excitement started taking it apart before I got the "before" picture. I started by ripping off the thin backing on the unit and replacing it with ply wood.

 Then I cut the hole for the sink (which I purchased for $12-including faucet- at Habitat for Humanity) and started priming. After priming I painted every thing.

 I reused the bottom doors but took off the magnetic latches and put them on the top so that the doors would open from the top like a dishwasher and oven. Then I cut out an opening on the oven front and spray painted both the "dishwasher" door and the "oven" door a metallic silver. After they dried I put on some old oven knobs using bolts and nuts so that they would turn then added a small towel bar (also purchased at HFH-I just spray painted the sink and the hardware to freshen them up). I bought a sheet of plexi glass at Lowe's and used a clear caulking to glue it in place on the oven door.

 To out line the stove I painted a gray square then used electric tape to edge it in.

 For the burners I bought a couple of plastic lids in the paint section at Lowe's and spray painted them black.

 I really wanted something authentic for the elements and was thrilled to find a tangle of electrical chording at HFH. I coiled the chording and glued it to inside the lids with liquid nail.

 Then glued the burners in place. I really love how they turned out.

 The fridge gave me issues. I couldn't figure out how to reuse the door that came on the original unit. It had glass on 3/4 of it and ran the full length, and I really didn't want a fridge that big. I wanted to leave some space for food storage. So I found this cupboard door at HFH and it was just about a perfect fit. I bought some new hardware and spray painted it metallic silver too. *I primed the door then put 3 coats of this special, and expensive, magnetic paint on the door. Then I spray painted over it with the silver but it didn't cover very well so I went over it with some gray paint I had on hand. I don't know if that was too much paint but the door is so weakly magnetic that it won't hold a magnet. It was also really cold in the garage even with the heater running so that may have effected it but annoyed it didn't work out.

The unit was really tall so I put in a shelf (under the curtain) and attached a kid's microwave to it. I also thought that it would be fun to put in a window over the kitchen sink and loved this frame with plexiglass in it I found for $2.00 at HFH. The side of the unit had a DVD storage area covered by a door. I took the door off and painted the shelves and call this area the pantry.

This is what it looked like at 3am Christmas morning.

 I didn't have time to finish a few things but since then have added under counter lighting, sewed the curtains, and found a cute metal door hanger in my Spring decorations in my garage and turned the picture frame into a shadow box. 

After buying the unit, the paint, the hardware, the plywood backing, the door, the lighting, the material for the curtain, the project ended up costing about $125 (still annoyed about paying $20 for the magnetic paint). I really loved the way it came out though and the kids love it too. 

Focus and Strength

I love this time of year. I love that the year sets this time aside for reflection and evaluation; a time to see where your life has been and where you want it to be and then try to bridge the gap. Its like spring cleaning for your soul. Get rid of the cobwebs, look into the dark forgotten corners, figure out how to reconfigure things so that you feel like you are at least moving in the direction of living the life you want to live, and being the person you want to be, the person you are in your best moments. I think that often we get so busy with the business of managing our incredibly full lives that half the time we aren't really present to what we're doing, we go on auto pilot and kind of turn ourselves off. We forget to focus on the really important things, the things that shape who we are and how we affect the world around us. At least that is what I'm finding on reflecting over many of the last 365 days. They are a blur. There are little moments that stand out, ones that fill me with peaceful pride at the wife, mother, friend, and women that I was, but there are others that stand out because they make me so sad at the wife, mother, friends, and women I was. 

My response to it is to take stock. Take responsibility for allowing myself to participate in mindless living, own all the moments where my priorities were askew, feel the weight of pain that I've caused, feelings I've hurt, people I've neglected and lessons I've been too stubborn to learn. It is also a time to appreciate how unconditionally I love those around me, how I truly want to be a source of kindness and warmth. A time to acknowledge how I have been the nurturer, the soft place to land for so many. It is a space to respect all the times I was selfless and to be proud of the moments where I felt I was my authentic self. And finally, it is a time to feel and then release the pain of all the times when I wasn't who I know I am meant to be, when I let weakness, fear, insecurity, and selfishness dictate my behavior and then find a way to be better.  

So I write resolutions. Really only two this year; focus and strength. I feel like I am swirling and I know I'm missing the big picture half the time but I can't seem to find enough inner focus to be different or the strength to make changes. I want to look inward and be secure in my own divinity and self worth. I want to see that my thoughts, my feelings, and my heart are completely focused on that which will bring me closer to living a life of purpose, a life of integrity, a life that maximizes my potential. And then I want to look outward and see that my life is a reflection of those things. See, I figure once I work out how to calm everything down inside of me and find my focus it will take incredible mental, emotional, and physical strength to realign my life in the ways that its gotten off course. Really all I think most of us need is a realignment, not a complete course change. 

So I start the spring cleaning of my life. I am energized by the idea of starting fresh. I am empowered by the idea that my life, that all our lives, can be what we want them to be. We are the most powerful forces in shaping our time on this earth, and that time is in limited supply. Each day is numbered as one less we have here. One less day to grow, one less day to make a difference. I want to make each one count, maximize the energy I spend. I am looking forward to casting off the heaviness of the things that have caused me pain or fear or insecurity or shame this last year. I don't know how yet, but I'm working on it, because I don't think I can focus on moving forward until I let go of the past. It saps my strength and traps my thoughts and heart  in an unproductive place. Fresh. Light. Focus. Strength. Welcome 2011.

A Quick Review Jan-Jun 2010

January: 

My aunt who is super crafty and creative introduced us to rock painting. We loved it so much that we bought our own supplies and spent much of the month looking for odd or unique shaped rocks and turning them into mice, dinosaurs, hamburgers, or what ever the rocked seemed to want to be. Everyone got really into it. We had friends, family, and neighbors over for rock painting parties.

February: 

 I LOVE valentines day. Not for the floo floo over done chocolate and roses part of it, but just for the hearts, the doing something nice for those that you love, the red and pinks, and the opportunity to have something special in the middle of a dark and usually wet Washington month. We always have a Valentine's meal, the kids hand out the cards they make for their parents, grandparents, and each other, they get little gifts and decorate heart shaped cookies. 

March: 

This is a special month because we celebrate Ella's birthday! She turned 4 in 2010 and wanted a Dora/Princess/Music/Diego party. It was an interesting combo. We did kind of a jungle/monkey theme, she dressed like a princess, we did a conga line, and parachute with balloons, and had the kids pick the activities from Dora/Diego backpacks. I think we got everything she wanted in there. Here's hoping we can convince her to embrace ONE theme in a couple of months. :)

We celebrated St. Patrick's Day at Great Wolf. We were there three days and Jon's Dad joined us for one of the days and on the last day my brother Adam brought up our little Danali. We had fun in the craft center, and the kids and Dad LOVED Magi-Quest (I loved the precious hours of alone time), the water park was amazing, we had such a wonderful time that it was tears and sadness from Caden when it was time to go. 

 Another fun March event was a concert I went to with my friend Monica. It was hosted by a wonderful couple who are devoted to promoting up and coming artists and creating an intimate yet thriving music scene here on the peninsula. This band was called the "Make Peace Brothers" and they are great. Look them up on youtube and you will see what I mean. It started out as a concert, turned into a dance party, then into the ultimate limbo show down.  It was such a great evening. 

                                                                          
                                                                             April:

We took the kids to an Easter egg hunt in Belfair. It was too funny watching Ella's group rifle through the straw looking for eggs. She was unstoppable and won the competition in her age group for finding the most eggs. I shouldn't have been surprised that she found egg after egg no matter how cleverly hidden they were because she is the first one we call upon when we can't find something at home. She was really uncertain about getting her award basket from the guy in the bunny costume, but with Daddy by her side she claimed her reward. Bolstered by Ella's win, Caden went tearing onto the field when his age group came around. Unfortunately he was distracted by the shear joy of diving through piles of hay, throwing the the hay, and flopping around in the hay. He didn't win for finding the most amount of eggs and was so disappointed that we had him "win" which ever baked good he wanted from the bake sale table. Every one was smiling when we left. 

April was also the month that we started in on a bunch of remodeling projects. We got a new refrigerator and vanity for the bathroom as well as a sink and new stove all of which came in large boxes. So we decided to put the boxes to good use and created "Box City". We taped all the boxes together and the kids decorated it with tissue paper, glitter glue, and markers. It stayed up all of spring break and beyond and every kid that passed through our door put their mark on it. After almost two weeks it was a time to take it down, sad day for our little ones. I found half of all their toys in there, remnants of snacks, blankets, pillows, and all sorts of treasures. It stands to this day one of their most favorite "toys". 

                                                                          May:

My heart breaks to say this, but because of the robbery, I don't have any photos from May of last year. It know it was a full month because I pulled out my 2010 calendar and every square has something written on it. I started off the month with a trip to Utah to be there when my dear friend Alexys had her baby girl. Being there for that event was a wonderful gift. We also celebrated several birthdays including my mom's, we had a wonderful mother's day, and Jon and I had a great vacation to Las Vegas with Monica and Brian. Ella finished up her session of ballet and she was just beautiful (and I had taken the most adorable photos of her admiring herself in the ballet mirror every week) and so proud of the things she learned. She also had a field trip to Miss Barb's garden. This is an annual event at her preschool, one which Caden went on twice and this was Ella's second trip. Her nana and Despa came and she felt so special to have not only her mom chaperone but her grandparents as well. May was also the last month of Caden's tee ball season. I can't believe how much he improved from the beginning of the season to the end. He started off   counting bugs and butterflies in the outfield to playing every position from first to catcher with some amount of skill. 

                                                                         
                                                                      June:
June was unseasonably warm which made it the perfect time for an outdoor party. It marked the beginning of summer break and we started what I think will be an annual tradition of throwing a laua party. With the help my good friends we had a fun with bubbles, water balloons, running obstacle courses in the sprinkler, and basically setting the tone for a fun active summer. It was also the beginning of a budding friendship between Danali and Danika. Danika is only a month older than Danali and they either adore each other or torture one another. I love watching these babies together. They crack me up every moment.

My friend Jackie and I took our kids to the Underwater Naval Museum. They had a fun time with water activities, making hats, getting their faces painted, and learning about submarines and boats. They had an area for kids to play with legos, lots of coloring stations, story time, and a host of other hands on activities for the kids. I love living on the peninsula. You never run out of educational, interactive, and entertaining activities for kids.