So Jon and I have a little announcement....
Jon is joining the ARMY
He is ready to be all he can be
I am completely serious. He leaves in about 4 weeks for officer training camp in San Antonio Texas and will be gone for almost 11 weeks. He is signing on for a three year commitment and will be stationed at Madigan on Fort Lewis base about and hour from our house. We have been researching this option for about two years now for a couple of reasons. 1-getting his Doctorates degree was really expensive and we have about $82K in student loan debt all of which the military will pay off during the three years he's in 2-Jon has wanted to be trained in clinical pharmacy for a while now but he would have to go back to school and do a residency and that just isn't an option for our family and 3-who isn't curious what Jon will look like with a military hair cut?
The recruiter has tried to get him to take different posts all over the United States but in the end we said that we didn't want to move (let me be honest, I didn't want to move) and that we would only join if they could make that happen. It didn't look like there was even the remotest possibility until two weeks ago when they called and said that the one post in the world we would be willing to accept had an opening.
So I am entering the land of the military wives. In over 12 years Jon and I haven't spent more than 4 days a part not to mention that he is an amazing involved father, so this is going to be tuff all around. I am still kind of adjusting. We are scrambling to put in a new security system, finishing putting up trim and base boards, clean out the garage, get the yard pruned, fertilized, and ready for summer, as well as shoring ourselves up emotionally to be separated. I have seen my friends do it. I have always admired their strength and their positive attitudes even when they spend months as a single parent. I guess I will learn if I am made of such stern stuff.
I could use some input on how and when to tell our 7 and 4 year old that daddy is going to be gone for a while as well as some coping strategies that you mom's who've been through it have used. As a parent I am open for input on how to keep this separation from being traumatic for the kids. Personally I need to know how you keep yourselves together when everything feels totally overwhelming. There has been a lot of upheaval and trauma in my personal life recently so this comes at at time when my emotional tank is running on low. Jon is my healing balm. Jon is my snuggle at the end of the day that reassures me that no matter what else is going on in our lives, in that moment, in that space, everything is just right. Where am I going to find peace like that when I don't have his arms to curl up in?
4 comments:
Can you use Skype so that you guys can video chat? :)
I would try and be as patient as you can with the kids. When I look back at our time in the Navy I let the single parenting get to me sometimes. That was a time they needed me to more patient then ever. In my personal opinion you need to tell the kids soon. Give them a chance to ask questions and try and sort it all out in their heads while you both are there to talk about it. Love to you all!
SO, you are really doing it? That's amazing that the one in Fort Lewis actually came up. I have no experience with having the hubby gone for months, but Jeff has left for 3 weeks a few times. I have to agree with Danae that one of my #1 priorities should have been having more patience with the kids. That's about all I have to bring to the table. Of course, I will be around and can help out where needed. Especially if you need a girls night!
Love ya.
I have no personal experience, but one of our neighbors is a navy wife with a 15-month-old, and her husband just completed Officer Candidate School. I know that the three of them received blessings before he left, which helped. Sorry that's all I've got. We wish you the best.
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