There is no end in sight...

So I had what I believed to be my 35-36 week OB appointment tonight with the idea that I would have the baby by the end of July firmly in my mind and they moved my due date back by 10 days. 10 DAYS!!! I have been saying I'm due August 6th for the last 7 months based on the date of an early ultra sound and the first day of my last period. It all added up and no one contradicted me. Not once. They would often comment on how the due date on my chart was changed a few times but it really just wasn't discussed. TONIGHT however the doctor was very clear on the fact that I am 33 weeks and 2 days with a due date of August 16th. Are you kidding me?! I argued with what I considered solid and infallible facts but in the end, I lost. He pulled out an ultra sound that I had at 6 weeks and 4 days which he said was accurate within 3 days of telling how far along I was in the pregnancy. I lay there willing myself not to cry. I must have looked quite desperate because he did try to appease me by reassuring me that it wasn't an indicator of when I would deliver but more a measure of how long we will take firm steps towards keeping me pregnant (I am having some pre-term labor and blood pressure issues). 

I know that in the grand scheme of things 10 days isn't really a big deal but I feel like I have been pregnant FOREVER!!! I got pregnant last summer and lost the baby at the end of my first trimester. We waited two months and got pregnant again. So my body and my mind have been focused on pregnancy for over a year now. What am I an elephant?! 

I want my body back. The little alien who has co-habited with me these last 33 weeks and 2 days has reeked havoc on every part of my body. The morning sickness still hits about once a week and I have contractions if I exert the smallest amount of physical energy.   

I should point out that the baby is doing really well. She is healthy and strong and seems quite content to reside in my pelvis, contracting or not. I know that that SHOULD be the focus of this post. I SHOULD be gushing with gratitude, especially since Caden and Ella struggled to thrive during the pregnancy, but I honestly can't get over the idea that I could still be pregnant 7 weeks from now. 7 weeks! All summer- when they are predicting one of the hottest summers we've had in 5 years, when I have run out of maternity clothes weeks ago, when Caden's birthday is August 21st and my anniversary August 15th, when I have a photography business that I can't wait to get back to, when I am aching to just meet this little soul and hold her, when it is torturing my kids to hear about a baby that never seems to come...I could go on but I am getting a little closer to tears the more I write. 

It is time to put on a happy face because my sweet husband is offering me everything from a back rub to air conditioning in an attempt to console my hormonal craziness. He so wants to ease my suffering and he is so sweet and sincere that I need to reassure him that I am totally up for whatever comes, 4 weeks, 7 weeks, I'm game, but just between you and me, I AM SO NOT GAME.  

Good Bye West Family!!!

We are so sad to see you go. Your family has enriched so many of our lives. We have laughed with you, cried with you, and loved you these last 4 years. Danae and Brian you are such an amazing couple. Funny and down to earth. You are true friends. You stand loyal and willing to fulfill whatever need arises. I can't count the number of times I called at the last minute to drop a kid off or to swipe an ingredient for dinner. I felt more secure in my world knowing you were just a street away. Which is why this site brought tears to my eyes...

...but not as many tears as I'm sure the 6 occupants of this vehicle will shed over the next 1400 miles as they travel from Washington to Denver.

I am not the only one who shed tears today. After the expedition pulled away I went into the house and found Caden crying. He just kept say, "I want my friend back". It was heart breaking. All I could say was, "me too buddy, me too". My kids are losing some of their favorite play mates. I loved having these kids here. Ethan is so creative and always comes up with activities for the troupe to engage in. Olivia is such a little mommy. She is loving and always knows what is going on with everyone around her. Little Kai...such a funny bug. He is the sweetest dare devil you will ever meet. I have loved watching our kids grow up together. It is such a rare gift to find a family where the parents and children mesh so well. I cherished while we had it.

Silverdale 6th ward has been the softest place to land these last four years for so many of us. We have walked with one another through some of the most difficult trials we have ever faced. We were able to create a sense of community that was loving, accepting, and strengthening, but most of all just joyful. I have watched family after family move on these last two months and I know that more families are getting ready to leave. But today as I watched the West's pull away I had an opportunity to really reflect on how lucky we've all been to have been together for as long as we were. In the midst of the sadness I felt, there was a feeling of intense gratitude. Thank you to the Wests, the Fyffes, the Hawkes, the Roystons, the Nelsons, the Durbens, the Marks, and all the other families of 6th ward who have moved on but made these last years such a wonderful place to call home.

Vegas Baby!

With baby #3 on the way Jon and I thought that it would be wise to get away for some couple time. We have been married almost 11 years now and no matter our circumstance we have always managed to take a trip each year just the two of us. I fear that with three children, those days are numbered. So off to Vegas to went. The plane ride is only 2 1/2 hours long, the pool is just an elevator ride down, and room service only a button away so it seemed like an appropriate get away for a women who is 8 months pregnant.

We went to see Phantom at the Venetian while we were there. It was very well done. The costumes and set were amazing.

You can see how very pregnant I am becoming. I think my favorite thing about being on vacation is taking a nap when ever I felt like it. We would come in from the 90 degree heat every afternoon to a room comfortably air conditioned to 66 degrees, climb under the down comforter and know that the phone wasn't going to ring, nor would a child come in to demand food or tattle on a sibling. We would snuggle down and I would sleep for an hour or so and Jon would watch Soccer or read a book. It was bliss.

We stayed at Caesars Palace which was beautiful but so far from everything! I guess it was good that we had to walk a half a mile to anything because we sampled different buffets every day, and let me say, Vegas buffets do not disappoint. Even with all that walking we both gained a few pounds in the week we were gone.

This is a picture of the Forum Shops in Caesars Place. I always marvel at how elaborate and ornate everything is in Vegas.

Who Knew?

So we are switching internet providers and the new company said it will be 3-6 days until service is restored. I have waited three days and got a call this morning that they don't have our address on their data base and they would have to come out to register us before they could issue an order for the install. So, it will be another 3-6 days after they register us!!!! I had no idea how dependent I was on the internet. Yesterday I needed a phone number and had to comb the house for over 20 mins trying to find an old phone book. I sit down repeatedly to check my bank account balance, check my e-mail, order business cards, check my blog my web site, and two seconds after I sit down my heart sinks and I feel a little bit alone and isolated in the world. When did my life go so digital that a phone book is antiquated? So here I sit, in Danae's office, getting my digital fix. I am counting down the days until I am connected again...I could spend the time writing cards, calling, reaching out in a personal way, but in the end I know I will just wait out the 3-6 days and drop a quick e-mail. Talk to you in 3-6 days.

I have give birth!!!

It was a labor of love several months in the making. It was challenging and often just plain frustrating but I am now the proud mama of my very own photography web site. It is still a work in progress but here it is: 

www.momentsphotos.net

I had no idea how difficult it is to put together a web site. There is the creative side of it, which you would think would be the easier task, but with choosing from 1000's of fonts for your logo, an endless options of backdrops for your web page, brushes, stamps, fading in and out options, gallery set up, then picking the photos that you think best represent your style, well it wasn't the easier portion by a mile. I would settle on one color palette, backdrop, and font type that felt like me and start building the site, then get two weeks into it and decide that it just didn't feel right and start all over again. It is like trying on outfit after outfit and wondering if what you've chosen will get you booted to the "worst dressed list". Your web site is the first introduction of your work and personal style that you make to THE WORLD and I was beginning to wonder if I had a personal style. 

When I finally did pick a style that I felt comfortable representing me, there was the technical side of putting it all together. I am not a techie. I have a husband who is and would lend support when my lap top was in danger of being flung out the window (it is a brand new pretty little machine called the Mac Book Pro but I have never worked on a mac and there was definitely a learning curve to add to my stress) but I was determined to learn how to create and manage the web site for myself. There were tears, tantrums, and almost some curse words, but in the end I awarded myself an honorary "junior techie" award.  

So take a look the fruits of my labor.