Hair today, gone tomorrow (pun intended)...

Today was a good full day. Enjoyed having the in laws over for lunch, loved watching a childhood friend baptize his daughter then going back to their house and hanging out with a big group of people who I have known my whole life, got the kids to bed w out any struggle, finished watching "Leap Year" then decided to check my e-mail. The first e-mail I opened was so unnerving that I don't think I will be getting to the rest tonight. My love sent a pic of himself sporting VERY short hair and I don't know if it was the lingering romanic feelings from the movie or seeing Jon in a shirt I didn't recognize, in a room that I have never seen, or realizing that he looks different then he did 2 weeks ago, but he has never felt so far away from me as he does right now. I feel homesick for him. Is that weird, to feel homesick for a person? I haven't seen or touched him in 2 weeks and it feels so unnatural. We have been lucky that we were able to communicate as much as we did this last week, texting as his schedule allowed, and talking when we are able to, but man, I MISS him. I enlarged his picture and just stared at it for a bit.  Giving myself permission to cry a little now. I have been really disciplined so far. I don't let myself think to long about the fact that he is across the country, instead, I pretend that he is having a long day at work or is just gone for the weekend at a pharmacy convention. I don't allow myself to acknowledge that little ache of longing for him that hums about in the background of my days and nights and when the ache threatens to come to the fore front, I actively distract myself by being busy mentally and physically. But tonight, I am going to allow it, in fact, I am going to indulge it. I am going to let myself think of all the little things I miss about him; his laughter and playfulness filling our home, the way that he always treats me with kindness and is so quick with a compliment, the feeling of absolute peace that I find when I am held by him, but mostly, I am going to think about his hair. I am going to think about the way it stubbornly refuses to be parted anyway but one. I am going to remember the countless hours that I have spent idly running my finger through it as we watch TV or as we are laying to together talking. And just to really do myself in, I am going to go up stairs and bury my face in his pillow and hope that it still smells like him, because I love the way his head smells. Kind of mixture of his shampoo, styling products, and his own natural scent. So tonight I am going to cry and ache and long for my husband, I am going to be overwhelmed by the number of days that are stretched out in front of me until he comes home, and I am going to let every sadness wash over me, but in the morning, I am going to pretend, and get busy, and have another good full day.