That girl's got moxie...or she's crazy.

On Tuesday Morning I was feeling this...Because late on Monday night I posted this on Craigslist (http://seattle.craigslist.org/kit/wan/1700734850.html)
I WANT THE NAME OF A THIEF
My house was burglarized on Sunday April 18th between 10:30am and 12:30pm. The home is located off of Ridgetop BLVD next to Emerald Heights Elementary School. The main items taken were a Nikon D700 camera and a 17" Mac Book Pro lap top with the #5 key missing and slight dings on the out side. I am willing to pay $500 CASH to the FIRST person who comes forward with the name of the person who robbed me and $1000 CASH if you can get the lap top returned to me with the files in tact (all our family photos from the last year are on that laptop). No questions asked. Only good information will be compensated so don't waste my time or yours of you don't really have anything. You have a rare window of opportunity to make some fast cash. All identities will be kept anonymous.

And I wrote this in my journal Tuesday morning....

I am so tired. I hardly slept last night. I just feel so defeated and deflated and desperate and probably some other adjectives that start with "D" but I am too tired to come up with them. I am also a little scared. I may have done something stupid. I threatened the guys who robbed me and the guy trying to extort $1000 from me. I was so sure that I was going to get my laptop back, that I could just will it to happen, put forth my best effort, and it would work out. Its not going to happen. All day I was tense with this hum of impending action. That feeling you get right before you go on stage, or before you jump off the high dive. Scared, determined, and a little thrilled. I wanted to be the one who met up with FOMT. I wanted to look him in the face. I wanted the look in my eye to say to him, "I am not afraid of you. You have no power over me". I wanted to sit across from him and force confidence into my voice as I demanded to see my laptop. I wanted to will my hands to be steady as I checked my files and paid the fee. I wanted to walk away with out looking back even though I know that my legs would be shaking to the point of tripping and my body would be vibrating with nerves. I pictured myself trembling on the inside but feeling so proud of the way I didn't allow my actions to betray that on the outside. I wanted this show down. I needed this show down. Powerful women engage in show downs like this and its the only way that I can think of to keep from feeling so small in the world, so volnerable. I see myself fueling the need for action because I'm afraid that when I stop I will have to feel all of this. Really feel it. I'm just not ready for that now. I would rather feel threatened and a little terrified. Is that crazy?

In my need for action I called FOMT one last time....

FOMT: "Who da hell do you think you are? You wanna threaten me. 'Oh you got 90 mins you got 88 mins'. Lady you like a big ol' blond cartoon is what you are. You thinking you gonna do something. You watch one to many crime shows, thinking you a detective, like you got something.You gonna threaten me? You go head, turn my phone number in the police. This a prepaid cell lady, registered in Chicago and I down here in Portland. You gonna do what?

ME: "Placing the add made sense to me at the time and you weren't really giving me any options. You said you'd call back and you never did."

FOMT: "Who you think you are? You just a big ol' cartoon what you are. A big ol' blond cartoon. When a man don't call you back, he don't wanna talk to you."

ME: "Why don't you want to talk to me? I'm not trying to deceive you. Look, I just want my laptop back and I'm assuming that you still want money. Why are you making this so difficult and complicated"

FOMT: "Lady you da one that f***ed this up. What world you think you live in? There be fools getting shot every day and you go around threatening people. You think you something. You don't know you just a big o'l cartoon. I went to bed laughing at you last night, 'oh you got 90 minutes' and I gonna be laughing you today, 'I want my laptop back, I want my laptop back'. you ain't never getting this laptop back. I scrubbed it. It done. It gone."

ME: "Okay, maybe I am a big blond cartoon, but I didn't know what else to do. I'm sorry that I'm not well versed in how to deal with criminals..."

****NOTE-FOMT is very rude. He talked over me all the time and the paragraphs I write are just peices of the conversation because he rarely stopped talking.
FOMT: "Oh, 'I am not well versed'! Who talk like you? Lady you not for real. People like you don't exists. You belong on the TV. Big ol' cartoon talking like 'not well versed' on TV".

ME: "If you called to just mock me and don't have the laptop then we don't need to talk anymore. But if you do have it and haven't scrubbed, it then I am still willing to work with you".

FOMT: "Lady, what world you live in?! I live in the real world. You live in a bubble. You think you some detective. You 'willin to work with me'? Yeah I gonna be laughing about you for a long time. You living in your little bubble world like a big ol' blond cartoon"

ME (talking over him because he would NOT stop expounding on how he knows the real world and I live in the bubble world-I know he didn't hear what I said, but I just wanted to have said it...): "I live in a world where I am adored by my husband and love my kids. I live in a world where I have great family, and friends, and a great community around me. You live in a world of pre paid cell phones, scrounging for a buck, and being afraid of the police. Will you still be laughing the next time you are pick pocketing a guy hoping to score $20? I'm offering you $1000. How many guys are you going to have to pick pocket to get that? That's your world."

FOMT: "I wouldn't give your laptop back for $1500, for $2000! You justa crazy ol' white women living in her bubble world. You don't know nothing. You don't have nothing. You gonna get nothing. I got your laptop and I gonna be laughing about it".

ME: "You are an idiot. I was serious about paying you and letting you walk away. Congrats on your new dented and used laptop with out the power cord. Enjoy shelling out $70 to replace it."

FOMT: "Lady, you not real. You crazy. You think you something when you justa cartoon to me. I have to go, my wife is calling me on the other line. I call you back."

ME: "I don't believe you. You didn't call back yesterday. I'll just hold".

FOMT: "WHO YOU THINK YOU ARE"?

Let me introduce myself; Crazy ol' White Women at your service. You may also know me as, Big ol' Blond Cartoon. Or perhaps you recognize me as that Lady who lives in a big bubble?

After the conversation ended I was ticked. I knew that negotiations were done. I knew that he had nothing to offer me. How does he not realize that if I was using all that time and energy and financial resources to get my property back that I would apply all the same components to get him? I know is sounds ridiculous, but I was offended that he scrubbed the laptop after I told him what it meant to me. Wait, I am just a cray ol' white women, so it makes sense that I would think a criminal would think more logically then to cut off his nose to spite his face.
I was feeling this:
So I posted this on FB:
I am having a "catch a thief" poster party starting tomorrow. I am going to make tons of brightly colored posters offering a hefty reward for the name of the person who robbed me and an even heftier reward for the return of my laptop with the files in tact. I want to plaster them all over the ridgetop area and could use some help over the next couple of days putting them up. Any volunteers??
Then I sent two texts to FOMT the first one said this:
"Thought you might like to pass this along to the person who robbed me and if that's you, then know that I will go broke to find you. My community will stand behind me. Thieves are not welcomed in our world so run back to what ever little whole you crawled out of and wonder how loyal your friends are when the price for your name gets high enough"
and the second was just the copy of the FB post.
I have to say that for several hours, I felt really good about what I was doing. I even started designing the signs and composing my next craigslist add. It felt good to know that I was going to DO something and not just sit back and let an injustice go unnoticed. You see I still believe that we have a lot of personal power to effect change in not only our own lives but in the world we create around us. There are so many more good people in the world. We just have to rise up together showing the bad that we won't be afraid. That they can't feed on us, one victim at at time. Yeah for a couple of really empowering hours I felt really good, and then the phone rang....