Time to be our own super heros...

On Sunday night I was feeling this-

"Thas' all I can stands, 'cause I can't stands no more!"

And wrote this in my journal-

I am angry! I am so outraged! I was laying in bed with Caden tonight and he said he was afraid. How dare someone make my little 6 year old afraid! I tried to reassure him and when I was done asked him if he was still afraid. He said, "maybe a little. Mommy, I know what we should do. We should call a super hero and he can catch the bad guys and he can protect us!" My son went to sleep dreaming about being protected in this world by a ficticious super hero. I'm his mom. Aren't I suppose to be his protector? Isn't it me who is suppose to sheild him from the harshness of the world around him? I have been crying and moping and feeling like a victim. That is not how a super hero behaves. So enough is enough. I am so NOT going to allow someone else make me feel weak and afraid. The thieves who broke into my home not only took my personal belongings, my memories, my business identity, the calendar of my life (really I don't know when any of our up coming doctor's appointments are I don't know when Ella has snack, when Caden has baseball games, when Jon has days off-I am lost), they took my family's sense of security. How dare they.

I want my laptop back! I refuse to accept that it is gone, taking with it so much of great value to me. There has got to be something I can do. I have to hope that something I do can make a difference, even if it doesn't, I would rather feel hope than sadness and defeat. I am a woman who fights for what is important to her, aren't I? I am a mom who her children can look up to as their defender from all things bad, aren't I? I think that I won't ever really move past this until I know that I did everything I could to get back what is ours.

So this is what I did:

I posted a reward on Craigslist (http://www.craigslist.com/kit/wan/1698992813.htmlslist.com/kit/wan/1698992813.html) that said this:

On Sunday April 18th our home was broken into and amongst other things my laptop was stolen. It was a Mac Book Pro and I want it back with the files in tact. This laptop has all of my family photos on it from the last 9 months of our lives. I am offering $1000 reward for the return of the laptop with the photography files in tact. If you stole the laptop then you have to know that no one is going to pay anywhere near $1000 for a used, banged up laptop with a missing #5 key. This is the best monetary offer you are going to get so take it while it is on the table. If you don't want to e-mail me then call and we will work something out for exchanging the laptop for the money. I am not trying to trick you or trap you, I just want my memories back.

And this is what happened next-

On Monday afternoon a man called me to discuss the laptop. He said that his friend stole it and asked him to check the situation out and advise him on what to do. The phone call lasted 10 minutes and 43 seconds and the conversation went something like this:

ME: "How do I know that you or your 'friend' actually have my laptop?"

HIM: "Oh, he got yo' laptop. I seen the pictures. You a pretty little blond lady with your three little kids and your husband, Jon".

okay, Shama, be cool. Breath, and don't think about the INCREDIBLY dirty feeling that is washing over you as you picture this creep rifling through your family photos. Ignore the immediate impulse to gather your children to you and lock the door.

ME:"Okay, so what do want to do. Do you want to meet somewhere? I will want to check out that the files are still good before I give you any money."

HIM:"Oh, now we done lady."

ME:"What? Why?"

HIM:"Come on. You wanna meet means you got the police in it. We meet up and then I get cuffed. This will look real bad on me. I am an African American and you just a pretty little white women. I gonna come off like the bad guy."

ME:"Um, you ARE the bad guy. You, or your 'friend' came into my home and stole from me and now you are extorting money from me to return MY OWN property to me. There is no question that you are the bad guys. What I want to know is are you business men?"

HIM:"You think I real stupid don't you lady. I show up and you got cops all over me"

ME:"Do you really think the police have the time or resources to hang out in the bushes all day staking you out for the return of a laptop??? I promise that I won't call the police. I won't try to get you arrested. All the newborn pictures of my daughter are on that computer. All our family photos from the last year are on that computer. I really want it back and I'm willing to pay for it."

HIM:"Lady I feel for you but I gotsta look out for me and my boy. This don't feel right. You husband need to talk to you. You don't go 'round saying you gonna meet some one. You gotta think about you and you family and you doing something, meetin up with some one, its not safe."

ME:"Fine, if you don't want to meet then you think of something. There has got to be a way that this can work for everyone...." this is where I start prattling on, throwing out one rediculous

idea after another all the while racking my memory for some scenario seen on a movie or TV show where some plan was hatched to exchange goods for money. I think I even said something about FED EX ing it. Oh, boy it was bad and my voice was getting more and more screechy as the seconds ticked by and NOTHING good was coming to me. I could feel myself losing him.

HIM:"Lady, lady, lady, you gotsta settle down here. Look, like I's tell my boy, no good taking it to a pawn shop cause you gotta show ID, so I's told him jus take it to Ray at the liquor store and maybe he give you 100 bucks for it or find your'selve a cab driver or something and he give you 100 bucks or just scrub it and you's got your'selve a new laptop."

ME:"Well he is an idiot if he turns down $1000 dollars for the possibility of making $100 and he is a REAL idiot if he wants to keep it because he didn't even take the $70 power cord and the computer is useless to him with out it."

HIM:"Lady, I don't have all day fo this. I's sorry, I gonna tell my boy that he should walk away"

ME:"Are you kidding me?? He risked arrest to make maybe $100? Look this is simple. You have something I want, I have something you want. We just need to find a way to make the exchange. I just can't think of anything right now".

HIM:"I give you an hour. I's call you back and you tell me wha' cha thinking about"

ME: Defeated but unable to come up with a way to make this work and scared that once I get off the phone with him he will disappear. What can I do but say, "okay. I'll work on it".

"Working on it" consisted of calling up the people in my life who I thought might have some sort of brilliant plan for me to spring into action. Boy was I disappointed. The nervous Nellie's I hang out with were totally dry on the plan front and spent the better part of my hour with admonishments to not do anything stupid. Some of them even called my husband at work and tattled on me.

Where is this guy when you need him?

And now my hour is up and I am no closer to having a plan which will make my robber feel safe enough to have his third party meet me while also making me feel safe enough to meet a guy who is friends with the stolen goods broker, Ray, at the liquor store and who knows that I probably have $1000 cash on me. Think Shama think.

And then the phone rang....